May 2012
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The following quotations are taken from official...
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
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Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
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Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
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Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
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Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
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Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
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Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
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Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
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Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
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Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
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Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
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Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
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Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
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Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
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Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
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Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
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Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
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Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
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Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
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Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
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Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
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Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
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Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
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Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
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Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
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Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
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Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
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Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
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Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
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Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."
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atrueenglishman:
microxcuts:
Didn’t...
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so who else ships amorra anyone
regulateddiscord:
wolfskitten:
regulateddiscord:
regulateddiscord:
We’re watching Scooby Doo now.
And just
When did they decide that Velma and Shaggy were a couple?
I am displeased.
Has
Has Daphne always been so reliant on Fred being her boyfriend and showering her with attention and affection?
Yeah, part of me is like ‘yay finally they accept that shaggy and velma are a cute...
regulateddiscord:
regulateddiscord:
We’re watching Scooby Doo now.
And just
When did they decide that Velma and Shaggy were a couple?
I am displeased.
Has
Has Daphne always been so reliant on Fred being her boyfriend and showering her with attention and affection?
Yeah, part of me is like ‘yay finally they accept that shaggy and velma are a cute couple’ but…...
seriously can someone just teach me how to be a Good Friend the kind that keeps people happy and keeps them from hurting and doing stupid stuff just because they have a Good Friend and that’s what they need because i seriously don’t know i just want to help you and i don’t know how is there like a manual or something instructions what am i doing wrong what am i not doing
please just let things go well today that’s all i want don’t don’t make me deal with too much that right there would be too much
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I just got this from Sai:
Huggy!Dave (sai): yo sis heard it was your birthday snap
so i figured id spit you a birthday rap
youre sweet and clever like no ones biz
yeah youre the best girl youre the shiz
so keep up a smile and let it show
cuz youre the one and only kitch ya know
so heres dave strider sayin loud and clear
happy birthday kitchenkind my dear
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Huggy!Dave (sai): lol floor i thought they were still on the bed?
Actual Cannibal RD: fuck
Actual Cannibal RD: FIXED
Huggy!Dave (sai): just
Huggy!Dave (sai): john faceplanting onto the floor
Actual Cannibal RD: shhh they teleported
Huggy!Dave (sai): because of tailcock
Actual Cannibal RD: I FIXED IT JEEZ
alice is not a creative color: pfffft
Huggy!Dave (sai): i'm still laughing though
Actual Cannibal RD: STOP HURTING MY FEEFEES
Huggy!Dave (sai): I BUTTS YOU ALEX
Actual Cannibal RD: Someone just
Actual Cannibal RD: draw that happening
Huggy!Dave (sai): AE:UIGKBJRSF
Actual Cannibal RD: OOPS TAIL AROUND DICK SUDDENLY FACEPLANT ON FLOOR
alice is not a creative color: MAKE IT HAPEN SAI
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Watchcapricarnival:
love-and-treason:
killthebloodyredprinceofdeath:
jinxyourself:
A little backstory to this clip before you watch it:
Will Smith’s father abandoned him and his mother when he was a child, and when Will was finally getting into show business and making a name for himself, he tried to sneak his way back into his life like nothing happened. Will co-wrote this episode, and James...
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bro-slimshady-strider:
Come on guys, Don’t leave me on the edge of my seat, like i’m sharing a chair with some morbidly obese chick. 399 followers? Fuck this, Just one more. Who’s gonna be that person?
but Bro/Vriska is my ship lol
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Tell me your God Tier title! →
raeosunshine:
etherealcrow:
cowboydave:
kyurizz:
mallowninja:
Sylph of Doom, Derse dreamer, genetic sequence of GA. I’d pin myself for Prospit, but it at least got the Sylph part right… prefer Sylph of Breath, myself.
Maid of Mind, Derse dreamer, genetic sequence GC. That…huh. The class I received in the most popular quiz was non-canon but Maid seems to be along the same vein, and I...
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scratch-the-maven:
So I was listening to this...
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wow okay feeling so depressed i can taste like bile in my throat this really sucks rants below
[[MORE]]i thought giving Rain her own account would be a great idea let her be able to like and ask and reply and stuff but only a few people follow her and i have no idea how to proceed should i finish this flashback scene or just say ‘screw it’ and back out of it i’m so bad at...
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Oasis // Wonderwall
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sometimes i think 'this cosplay is gonna be...
smarmyrainbowdrinkernovels:
then i see everyone else and want to quit.
So I need some help / opinions. For a ship name. Specifically, the Dave/Bro/Davesprite ship. So far some ideas are: Team ______
Pimpslayer
Double Time
Two-Edged Sword
Record Skip
Record Scratch (ehh no nvm that sounds like Doc/Dave)
God And His Angels
???
Anyone?
Also, anyone else interested in making this a legit ship for the HSO?
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Hey guys, like my new look?
bro-slimshady-strider:
Sign-ups are now open for the second annual Homestuck Shipping Olympics! (Make sure to read the Wank Policy before signing up.)
The HSO is an event that brings fans together to create awesome stuff and hang out with new people. You can find out more by reading the Info Post and FAQ. Please only sign up if you can be polite and respectful about other ships; we enforce the Wank Policy very...
lol back to 99 followers good follow their example leave while you still can i really don’t know why you’re here is it for fetishy stuff? is it despite fetishy stuff? i really don’t know go ahead let me send you on your way with like a loaf of bread or something or a fruit basket?
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raindroplabyrinth:
[[ooc post before i post a story one if there is anyone willing to temporarily rp a 13-14 year old Jake, Jane, or Dirk in my ask box, I would appreciate it so much. Or on Pesterchum itself. (raindropLabyrinth) I can change the handles. Please message me and let me know, or just pester me and let me know there. if you want to do it anonymously in my ask, you can simply start it...
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so i’m thinking of doing hso maybe possibly with dixy or davebrodavesprite or vriskat or catfish… guh i can’t pick just three help how do not every ship
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Auto Responder Giveaway!
zippyc:
Doing a little giveaway to celebrate 400 followers! You guys are crazy but hey thats pretty awesome of you all.
Anyways! So I’ll be giving away one of these babies:
Winner gets one pair of laser-cut shades, choice of red or black. (with ear pieces)
They also look pretty swag on your face.
Rules:
✪ one like, one reblog.
✪ Giveaway ends on May 19th.
✪ must have you ask box open...
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blooddiesel:
I wish there was another word in the English language for “love;” yes there are a few, but nothing as solid and as powerful as that singular word that people say insincerely far too much, and truthfully not enough. Other tongues have words for different manners, different kinds of love. Why not this one? When I say “I love you,” I want the world to realize that my love for you is...
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stridercestprince:
John comes over a lot to visit Dave and bro is generally pretty whatever about it and staying in his room and leaves the kids alone
but there’s this one time where he ollies off to the kitchen and Dave an John are tangled up with each other on the couch laughing about something or the other while trying to maneuver around video game controllers.
bro, the jealous asshole that...
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themarc26 started following you
what is happening here.png
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